|B'elton John by SuperFantastic|
Most people think I’m just ‘Andy’s wife’ or ‘Imogen’s mother’ or the woman with lots of kids. When I go out, I don’t attract much attention. Perhaps everyone thinks I have a very ordinary life. But they're wrong. I don't.
I close my front door on the world. I look right and then I look left. Is anyone looking? I whip out my computer. I slam my glasses onto my nose. I toss back my superhero cape. I flex my fingers. Then I start typing.
I’m Sue the Blogger and Sue the Writer. I have a secret identity. And nobody knows.
Except for Mr G who lives down the road.
One day my son Callum says, “I saw Mr G today. He’s going to leave a DVD about quitting sugar in our mailbox, next time he walks by.”
I think about this for a moment. “How does Mr G know we’ve given up eating sugar?”
Callum shrugs his shoulders. “Does he read your blog? Did he read your post about the Christmas pudding collection?”
Did Mr G read the following words in my post Another Christmas Pudding Collection?
Then one day as I was standing at the check-out at Big W I glanced to my left, and there was this book staring at me: I Quit Sugar. It was shouting, “Read me! Read me!” I didn’t want to read it. I was doing my best to ignore it, but then I noticed it was on special. I can’t resist a bargain. I bought the book and took it home. But I didn’t read it. I said to my daughters, “Have a look at this book. Find out if sugar is bad for us.” That was a mistake.
I know all my words are floating out there in public where anyone can read them. My blogs are very easy to find. All you have to do is google my name. But Mr G wouldn’t have had any reason to do that, would he? So how did he find out my secret?
The DVD lands in my mailbox: Sugar v Fat, a BBC documentary. It looks interesting. I must remember to thank Mr G the next time I see him.
My opportunity soon arrives. I’m walking along our road, on my way to the village store, when Mr G drives past. He winds down his window and I say, “Thank you for the DVD.”
“I read your post about the Christmas pudding.”
“You did? How did you find my blog?” I ask.
“Oh, I was googling something to do with cars, and one of your posts turned up in the search results. It was one of your posts about Callum and his cars.”
My secret life isn’t as secret as I thought. Oh my! I shall have to be more careful about what I write. What if I write something I shouldn’t? What if the wrong person reads it?
Do you remember my dead body story, There’s a Dead Body near Our Running Track? I was going to write a sequel to that story. I was going to mention the name of a notorious criminal. Oh! It’s just as well I didn’t. What if he had read my post? I might have ended up as a dead body. I could have become a bad smell. I might have prevented my family from enjoying their runs down the bush tracks. I shudder. This blogging business is more dangerous than I thought.
It could also be dangerous writing about my neighbours. I must remember never to do that. Oh my! Too late. I’ve just remembered something. I did write about someone living close to me. I wrote about Mr G! I put him into one of my children’s stories. He’s been published. Mr G is in my new book The Angels of Abbey Creek. Should I think about moving house? Quickly?
Perhaps Mr G won’t mind being in my book. His character is rather nice, and he's not really him. I just borrowed a trait or two. Or maybe Mr G will never find out. Perhaps he doesn’t read my blog any more. He might not even know I’ve just published my first children’s novel..
But Mr G, if you are reading…
I watched the DVD. It was very interesting. And yes, I know I haven’t yet returned it. Next time one of the girls takes our puppy Nora for a walk, I’ll get her to pop it into your mailbox. Thank you for lending it to me. You are very kind!
Do you lead a secret life behind closed doors? Have you ever been found out? And do you like Christmas pudding? I do!